Wednesday, April 2, 2025

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (PS5)


Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is the second part of the Final Fantasy VII Remake. Although given how Remake ended with its big reveal, anything goes for this sequel. It starts after the Intermission DLC of Remake, and so the party finds themselves outside Midgar and makes up their mind to chase Sephiroth. That is their only objective, and it leads them from area to area, going with the flow. Unfortunately, it’s not a strong story, and while faithful to the original, the pacing feels agonizingly slow and little feels like it meaningfully adds to the story.


Rebirth reaches the part of the original game where you get access to the world map, and its implementation here is recreating it into six zones. The game soon opens up with the first zone, and it is extremely impressive… at first glance. While the game has big environments, it carries over an annoying element from Remake. That is, there are often sections where you are forced to slow walk, shimmy through ledges and climbing. These are pointless activities, such as climbing where literally the only input is pointing the analogue stick to the direction you want to go in. These add nothing to the game except to painfully slow down the pacing, which is jarring and breaks the immersion (even if it is supposed to make it more “immersive”). It was bad in Remake and it is made worse here, and much more inexcusable given that the PS5’s SSD should now be fast enough to not require these types of loading masking tricks.


Disrespecting the player’s time is a constant theme of the game. In the linear story sections, there are stupid gimmicks such as pulling a slow object to solve the “puzzle”, if it can even be called that. There are huge amounts of gimmicks and minigames, which are inane things such as turning a valve five times just to trigger the next cutscene. The open world is filled with cookie cutter objectives that are the same in each zone. This game feels like a Ubisoft open world game, and that’s not a good thing. After the first or second zone, the activities are too repetitive as your progress is effectively lost in the next zone. Having a checklist of things to do that isn’t meaningful at all to the game is poor design. Even great graphics cannot save that.


Side activities in the open world are little more than just going to a point, playing some stupid short gimmicky minigame, and then moving on. It’s much slower than that as the game constantly wrestles control away from you after completing an objective for pointless debrief by an in-game character. Seriously, the game has the slowest animation, and coupled with these mandatory unskippable debriefs where you literally cannot even move, and it’s frustrating. Then the icing on the cake is to repeat the same things in the next area, and it becomes draining. The open world is also very empty, as the structures in it are little more than decoration, they don’t hide interesting things to find.


Bloat is the constant theme of Rebirth. Side quests are the usual fetch and hunting quests. Go from point A to talk to someone, then go to point B. It’s boring and unimaginative. It tries to use these to buff some the backstories of the characters, but it doesn’t present it in an interesting way. The bloat continues into the story where there are so many filler segments, slow walking during cutscenes and boring cutscenes. The story is slow and meanders through its events and indulges in itself too much. The constant forced minigames in its story segments are tedious and annoying. There is a weird overly campy / chirpy tone to the characters that doesn’t quite work and is at odds with what it supposedly its own serious story to tell. There is a constant fixation on Sephiroth. Yes, he is the big bad and an iconic villain. However, there is such a thing as overexposure when he makes an appearance so frequently throughout the game and shoved down your throat at every moment. For every cutscene mentioning Sephiroth and there will be a derailment of the story.


For combat, it builds upon the system of Remake. Thus, it is a hybrid of real time and turn based combat. You cannot fully play it as either, so it can be tricky to pick up its nuances. There is the standard attack, block and dodge (which doesn’t provide invincibility frames…). Standard attacks will mostly do chip damage, the main goal is to do enough damage and strike the enemy’s weakness to build up the pressure and stagger gauge. Once staggered, this is when you can do heavier damage and defeat the enemy. Attacking will increase your ATB gauge, which you expend to use special abilities on, which are usually the moves that will deal actual damage, strike weaknesses or have other positive effects.


Thus, the whole combat system revolves a lot around the ATB gauge, which means that it prioritizes aggressive plays. Even using items will require the ATB gauge, so you can get into a lot of trouble if you find your party in low health and need to attack to build up enough ATB to use a recovery item. The new addition in Rebirth is the Synergy moves. There are two ones, the first of which doesn’t use ATB, so that you can use it at any time. The second does use the ATB gauge and has very useful effects such as increasing the limit break level or splitting the ATB gauge into more segments.


Each character plays differently and you can control any of the numerous party members you have. This is both good and bad, but over the course of the story, the game will dictate the composition of your party. Sometimes it makes sense, other times it’s just for the game to continually waste your time. It truly feels that the game forces you to play it in a very narrow and specific way, which can suck a lot of fun out of it. The solo battles are the worst. Rebirth has a lot of overlaying systems on top though, there are separate leveling systems for the characters, weapons and party abilities, as well as a crafting system. All these systems together can be very overwhelming and confusing, especially when they were first introduced.


Like the whole game, the final dungeon drags on and on and on. It combines everything wrong with the game, such as splitting up the party and painstakingly following both at every moment even though you won’t care. It has constant slow walking, boring exposition dumps, solo sections, pointless “puzzles” where you are pulling and pushing objects and cutscenes that play 30% too slowly (you know something is wrong when you can use the in-game function of speeding cutscenes up to 1.5x speed and it doesn’t feel too unnatural).


The poor design continues onto the final boss, which just like the rest of the game is bloated and severely outstays its welcome. It is cheap and filled with many attacks that are pretty much instant kill attacks. It continues to wrestle the control away from the player as without any warning at all from before you enter the battle, that you are not allowed to pick your own party, it’s chosen by the game for you. There is even a breaking climbing section built into the battle, where you are climbing up the boss in an agonizingly slow fashion. Nothing better than to break up the pacing even more like that.


This might be all forgiven if at least the story was good enough, but it wasn’t even good. For all the teasing of defying fate etc from Remake, it then ends up being quite faithful to the original game for most of Rebirth, it goes for a lazy direction in its ending. It’s just disappointing. The developers stretched each story piece for too long so that it is disjointed, and you lose interest. It all feels pointless as a result. The developers have no clue what they want the game to be and to have, so they are stuck in this half-step where they cannot commit in one direction or the other. It’s a perfect description of the game as a whole, it tries to be everything and is mediocre at everything. They are too faithful to the original story, but then changes it enough to be a convoluted piece of crap, alienating all the players.


Anyway, after the story, which takes around 50 hours to complete if you beeline for only the story missions and do a few open world stuff, it opens up Chapter Select. You can go back to any chapter to finish off the stuff that you wanted to do, but seriously, why would you want to? Everything is busywork and feels like chores. Getting 100% is one of the most painfully boring things to do. The game’s pretty to look at but that’s it.


Overall, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is a disappointment. It had so much potential, and it consistently teases what could have been. Instead, we get a generic overstuffed Ubisoft open world filled with pointless trash to do. The open worlds are tacked on just because it had to have an open world, and it isn’t integrated well with the story and the rest of the game. The story itself is stretched, and gameplay filled with rubbish minigames that are forced upon the player. The game constantly disrespects the player’s time, and everything takes longer than it should. The graphics are great, and the combat system can be overwhelming but at least it is solid. However, this is a massively bloated game, and it’s one where someone really needed to have reined in the developers and directions to streamline the game by at least 50%.

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For other game reviews, have a look at this page and this page.

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Sunday, March 30, 2025

Toy Review: Transformers Earthspark Jawbreaker


Review: 
 #834
Name:  Jawbreaker
Brand:  Transformers
Allegiance:  Terran
Line:  Earthspark
Year of Release:  2024
Size Class:  Deluxe (Wave 6)
Mold Status:  new

ALTERNATE MODE:


Jawbreaker transforms into an orange robotic dinosaur, as seen in the Earthspark TV show.


Reviewing it on its merits alone, this mode is okay, but the proportion feels a bit off, with a long neck and a shorter stumpy body that just abruptly ends, with the tail (the robot weapon) sticking out.


In alternate mode, the dinosaur stands to about the height of a Deluxe in robot mode.



The dinosaur head is also a bit weird in that it looks oddly proportioned and liked it is really "old".  The jaw can open and close though which is nice.


The two robot guns can peg onto the hips.



The tail is a thin affair, and pegs in between the robot legs on the back.  It feels insubstantial.


It's not a horrible alternate mode by any means, just has some things that feels a bit off.

TRANSFORMATION:

Like with most Earthspark toys, the transformation scheme is simple.  He also transforms much like you would expect.  The back unfolds to form the robot legs.  The dinosaur legs are the robot arms, and the head and neck folds onto the back to reveal the robot head.

ROBOT MODE:


Jawbreaker's robot mode has a short stocky look to him, thanks to the huge arms.


Despite his chunky look, he has hollow limbs, so he feels very light in hand.


The head sculpt is good, with some more of the teal coming out.


He's shorter in robot mode, which is is to be expected.


Articulation is solid, with joints for his head, shoulders, elbows, hips, knees and some ankle.


He comes with a pair of small guns, and a weapon that was his tail in alternate mode.


He can hold the tail as like a type of sword / whip thing.  It's not too convincing but it isn't too terrible either.


The guns are better, and they fit in either hand.


The guns can also peg onto his shoulders, in the same slots as in alternate mode.


While not as bright orange as his Warrior version, he is still very orange, and definitely feels like either they could have darken the shade used even further, or giving him some more paint to help break it up.


He's also somewhat uninspiring in terms of design and gimmicks, which can made the figure feel too bland.


An average robot mode.

OVERALL:

Jawbreaker is an average figure.  He's not bad, and there are no major flaws with him, apart from the usual light hollow feel.  Both modes are relatively accurate to the show mode, has a simple but working transformation, and he's stable in both modes.  However, it just feels he's lacking some spark that makes him interesting.

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For other Transformers reviews, have a look at this page and this page.

(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases)

Wednesday, March 26, 2025

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! X (2021)


My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! X is the second season based upon the light novel series. It’s 12 episodes long again plus an OVA. The premise was that when Catarina was young, she hit her head and recovered all the memories of her past life in Japan. Now in this fantasy world which she realized was based upon a visual novel that she had played, she was originally destined to have a bad ending no matter what. However, at the end of the last season, it was fully confirmed (even though it was obvious before) that she had avoided that fate, and that everything from now on will be brand new to her.


Given that the premise is now over, the anime really isn’t much more than a fantasy slice of life. Catarina herself is popular and has gathered quite a harem of lovers and followers. Although given how much she was an otaku in her past life, she is clueless and oblivious to the feelings that everyone else has for her. Catarina’s charms come from breaking from the stereotype of nobility in that world.


Catarina had moved up a year in the academy and… that’s basically it. She is continuing on with her school life, from tending to her own farm, to checking out and participating in culture festivals. What little uniqueness it had from its premise is almost completely gone. She recalls elements of that visual novel from time to time, but it doesn’t significantly influence or is required by the plot.


You can’t deny that the plot doesn’t progress. Catarina is nearing the end of her time at the academy and with that, the others are starting to win over Catarina to their side. At the forefront is Prince George, the official fiancé of Catarina. Although everyone else that’s smitten with Catarina doesn’t make it easy. With that said, Catarina’s romantic maturity gets a big push.


Despite Catarina starting to get real life experience with romance, the plot is still thin. This season has frequent flashbacks to when Catarina was young. It seems to have the characters remembering or reminiscing about an event or another, and it makes you wonder perhaps the first season (and the earlier parts of the story) went through Catarina’s childhood too quickly.


There are a few plot arcs in the season where it takes multiple episodes. This wasn’t something we had seen in the first season, and it is welcomed here, allowing for some deeper interactions and feeling less episodic. While none of the events are significant or too consequential, they have the effect of some of the other characters becoming a bit more serious. They don’t want status quo anymore and want to be the one that Catarina chooses.


Unfortunately, the whole season is Catarina with her harem, going on with her life, with a little bit of kidnapping here and there. It isn’t enough as a hook to keep you watching. It can be too predictable, and Catarina as the clueless character can only stick for so long. It’s not a surprise when towards the end, it comes back to its original premise, feeling like it was a little bit desperate.


The OVA is like a recap episode, where each of the characters reminiscent about their first meeting with Catarina. It tells it from their perspective (reusing a lot of animation) and has their voiceover of what was running through their heads at the time. Despite the repetitive nature of it, there are some minor new nuggets of information and context, and it is an OVA that is perfect to watch right before the start of the second season as a refresher.


Overall, My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! X, cannot even be classified as more of the same. Rather, it feels like something that kept going even though it had resolved its original mystery. It’s not terrible, but just feels uninspired and lacking an objective, even if it doesn’t know what it wants to do. The reveal at the end that promises more just makes you roll your eyes.

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Sunday, March 23, 2025

Toy Review: Transformers Generations Legacy Metroplex (Titan)


Review: 
 #833
Name:  Metroplex
Brand:  Transformers
Allegiance:  Autobot
Line:  Generations - Legacy
Year of Release:  2022
Size Class:  Titan
Mold Status:  new

PACKAGING:



Metroplex is unique in that he is the first Titan class that was released that wasn't based off a G1 character, rather, this is the Cybertron incarnation.


As usual though, he comes in a huge box with a fantastic piece of artwork.  Although it is significantly less exciting inside, being just a bunch cardboard and twist ties holding the figure together.

ALTERNATE MODE:


Metroplex, in the original cartoon and the original toy, did not have a good alt mode, and since Legacy is being faithful, he doesn't have a great alt mode here as well.


He transforms into a Cybertronian excavator, which you can kind of only tell from the giant scoop.  The base has a huge saw which definitely looks super dangerous if it was in real life.


This figure is huge, as you'd expect from a Titan class figure.  Above is a comparison against Commander Magmatron, just to give a sense of scale.


You can really tell that this is just a folded up robot, and this alt mode was pieced together with what was left after designing the robot mode.  It's basically a block with the scoop piece on top.


From the back, it's not great as there are huge gaps, especially the one in the middle.


There are some guns off to the side that can flip out.



While there are some tiny treads to indicate that at least he should be mobile.  The front scoops also looks nice, and to be fair, there are some excellent detailing here and there.



Since the scoop is a separate piece that you peg on top, it can swivel around.


Not the most amazing alt mode, and for a Titan figure, considering what we got in the past, it is not the best either.

WORK MODE:


The original toy has two robot modes for Metroplex, a shorter stumpy one, and a taller lankier one.  This was carried over in this toy.


He is shorter as it collapses a few joints together, so that his legs in particular are super thick.  He also has the bucket and saw attached as his hands instead..


He has a unique face for this mode, which is a faceplate and it looks really nice here.



A size comparison against Magmatron, and also Titan Ark to see how big Metroplex is.



Articulation is generally okay, he can move his head, shoulders, elbows, hips, knees and ankles.



All his joints are in ratchets though, and they are tight in order to sustain the weight (Metroplex is heavy.  So this actually makes him a little bit awkward to pose.

ROBOT MODE:


And now finally, the actual real robot mode that we are all used to.  Although by design, he is lanky, tall, but lanky.


Kibble-wise, he's not too bad, with a tiny bit of kibble on his back.



The head sculpt is awesome, and his mouth can open and close.  The gold paint used is just sublime.



You can see here that Metroplex gains a ton of height, and he towers over some previous Titans too.


Articulation remains mostly the same, but since the limbs are freer by not having to be double jointed back upon itself, it's much easier to pose him.


He has proper hands with certain fingers that can be posed independently.  The huge feet and ankle tilts helps keep him extremely stable.



His primary weapon is the scoop / saw combination, which is designed for Metroplex to hold combined via a handle at the midway point.


If you don't want him to wield such a big awkward weapon, it can store on his back.


Metroplex has enough articulation to hold the weapon with both hands as well.


The circular saw piece can actually spin, which can be fun.  And for such a huge piece of plastic, as it is mostly hollow inside, it isn't too heavy and unwieldy either.



A good robot mode, although a bit lacking in gimmicks.

OVERALL:


Metroplex, for being such a large and expensive figure, is definitely one for the fans of the character.  This can be a tough ask given that he heralds from the Cybertron cartoon.  It's a faithful update to the original toy, basically just modernizing it, but sadly it also strips away a few gimmicks, so he can be a bit boring in both modes.

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For other Transformers reviews, have a look at this page and this page.

(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases)
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